Dreams

I enter the room, determined to clean up the mess I find. I begin to work on one corner, filled with boxes and miscellaneous trash, only to turn around and discover that a relative has deposited a new pile of junk in a different part of the room. This scene repeats itself again and again, until I finally find myself leaving the house (whose house? I don't know), completely exasperated.

I run down a tree-lined street, find a beautiful park, but cannot enter it because it is fully enclosed in a impossibly tall wrought-iron fence. Finally I realize I can enter on a zipwire attached to one of the tall trees. I fly down this bright yellow line, but don't find myself landing at my desired destination. Instead, I'm off and running again, chasing after this elusive fix.

I wake up soaked in sweat.

I've been dreaming a lot lately. This doesn't surprise me; life is unbelievably stressful and complicated right now. I'm finding myself thinking (and at times, speaking) in tangled phrases, one thought overtaking another before the first is complete. Illness - mine and family's - and a looming deployment are the main contributors to this unconscious frenzy.

The problem is, there ARE no quick solutions to today's problems. There is only waiting. There is only time. The good news is, there is ALWAYS hope.

When the stressors pile on... when the little things in life become way too big... when the weight is more than I can bear... there is hope.

¹⁹ Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens.

²⁰ Our God is a God who saves;
from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. (Psalm 68:19-20)

The golden zipwire that leads me through the impossible circumstances is God my Savior. Holding on for dear life as I tear through this chaos, I know my Line is secure.

Curiosity about the specifics in my dreams led me to a website entitled "Dream Moods." There's a fascinating dream dictionary there. I didn't learn anything new, so much as I saw the common thread through my dreams written out in black and white. Phrases like "wound up or tense about a situation," "overwhelming anxiety," and "unable to escape from life's stresses" came up again and again. Thankfully, again, there is a solution.

^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

"The unforced rhythms of grace." I love that phrase. Everything feels forced right now... but not Jesus. He does not force me anywhere. No, He waits for me to come along with Him, to join Him in His work, and to find rest there - not in denial (my favorite coping mechanism), not in fleeing (apparently what my subconscious would like to do, according to a number of these crazy dreams), not in throwing up my hands and giving up, nor in trying to take on these problems and worry them to death... but walking, step by step, with Jesus. The literal translation of this passage in Matthew holds the symbolism of a young ox sharing a yoke with an older, seasoned ox. The older ox takes on the greatest amount of the burden while training the young one in how to handle his task. Jesus doesn't just lead the way ahead of me, He walks the way with me. He holds the greater part of the burden - when I allow Him to.

Lord, I bend my neck to join You in the unforced rhythms of grace. Help me to yield to You with each scattered thought, each moment of panic, each unknown... and to find You there, bearing my burden, showing me how to live lightly and freely.